The Lake That Wept: A Reflection on Narcissus, Self-Worth, and Emotional Invisibility In Relationships

Jul 4
3 min read

Updated: Jul 8

Excerpt from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho:

“The legend of Narcissus. A youth knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that one morning he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell a flower was born, which was called the Narcissus. When Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears. ‘Why do you weep?’ the goddesses asked. ‘I weep for Narcissus,’ the lake replied. ‘It is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus,’ they said, ‘for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand.’ ‘But… was Narcissus beautiful?’ the lake asked. ‘Who better than you to know that?’ the goddesses said in wonder. ‘After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!’ The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said: ‘I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.’”— Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

narcissist sitting beside a lake admiring his own beauty, narcissistic flower and lake.

A Story Not Just About Vanity — But About the Pain of Not Being Seen

Most people know the story of Narcissus as a warning against vanity. But Paulo Coelho, in this delicate passage from The Alchemist, turns the tale on its head. He shifts the spotlight from Narcissus to the lake—the quiet witness to his presence, the one that weeps not for the boy, but for the reflection of itself it saw in him.

This isn’t a story about arrogance. It’s a metaphor for emotional neglect and projected love.

When You Become the Lake in Someone Else’s Story

Have you ever found yourself drawn to someone—not just for who they are—but for how you feel when you're with them?How their attention made you feel alive, beautiful, seen?

In many relationships—especially those touched by narcissistic dynamics—you may realize, too late, that you weren’t truly being loved…You were being used as a mirror.

And when that person leaves or withdraws, the grief isn't always about losing them. It's about losing the version of yourself you only recognized through their eyes.

Just like the lake—we weep not for the person, but for the reflection they gave us.

The SEVEE Lens: Emotional Invisibility and Low Self-Worth

At SEVEE, we see this again and again in therapy.

Clients come to us feeling confused after being in relationships where they gave everything - love, patience, presence—but felt emotionally starved. They weren’t met. They weren’t mirrored back. And now they don’t know who they are without that other person.

We call this emotional invisibility in a relationship - a state where you existed in someone’s orbit, but your soul was never acknowledged.

Healing Begins When You See Yourself—Not Just Your Reflection

The lake mistook the reflection in Narcissus' eyes as a sign of connection.But true connection is when someone sees you, not just what you give them.

At SEVEE, we help you turn inward—with empathy, without judgment.You are more than the love you give.You are more than the mirror you became.

We help you return to your own reflection—clear, grounded, and whole.