Situationships: The Almost-Relationships of Our Times
- Oct 12
- 3 min read
When Love Feels Real but Has No Name
There’s a word we all use now - situationship. It sounds casual, modern, and even a little funny, but for many Desis, both in India and abroad, it’s far from lighthearted. It’s the quiet space between “just talking” and “officially together.” It’s where emotions run deep, but labels disappear.

What Is a Situationship?
A situationship is an undefined emotional space between friendship and a relationship. It looks like late-night texts, movie dates, emotional intimacy - yet no one says, “We’re together.” For some, it feels free and flexible. For others, it’s confusing and exhausting.
Unlike relationships that come with expectations, situationships run on vibes. You’re together, but not committed. You care, but can’t ask for clarity. You share memories but can’t claim titles.
The keyword here is almost.
It’s almost love, almost commitment, almost clarity - but not quite.
How Situationships Evolved (and Why They’re So Common Now)
The term situationship became popular around the early 2010s, fueled by social media and modern dating apps. But the concept has always existed - even in India. Earlier, we just didn’t have a word for it.
In the U.S., especially among Desis in NYC, the trend grew with cultural shifts. Apps like Hinge, Bumble, and Dil Mil gave us freedom - but also blurred lines. Now, people crave connection yet fear commitment. They want presence without pressure, comfort without labels.
Back home in India, it’s rising too - in college campuses, workplaces, and metro cities. Young people are navigating between tradition and modern love, between family expectations and emotional autonomy.
So whether you’re in Ahmedabad or New York, Mumbai or Manhattan - the situationship has become our generation’s new relationship status.
What Really Happens in a Situationship
At first, it feels magical. You talk for hours, share secrets, and maybe even meet each other’s friends. But soon, questions creep in:
Do they feel the same?
Are we exclusive?
Why haven’t we defined this?
There’s warmth, but also waiting.
Passion, but also panic.
You can’t demand what was never promised.
For Desis abroad, especially those juggling two cultures, situationships become even trickier. You’re raised to believe in commitment, but you live in a world that romanticizes “keeping it chill.” You’re stuck between your maa’s advice - “Find someone serious” - and a modern reality where serious feels scary.
Why Situationships Hurt (Even If You Pretend They Don’t)
When things are undefined, your heart overcompensates. You guess, you hope, you rationalize. The emotional labor is heavy - because you keep trying to turn “almost” into “enough.”
For many, the pain doesn’t come from a breakup - but from something that never officially began. You grieve the potential, not the person.
And yet, there’s nothing weak about wanting clarity. Wanting to be seen, chosen, and named is human.
A Note: From the Therapy Chair
I meet countless people at SEVEE - from Ahmedabad to Austin - who come in saying, “We weren’t even dating… so why does it hurt this much?”
Because emotional connection doesn’t wait for labels. Because giving your heart quietly doesn’t make it less real. Because undefined love still leaves defined pain.
If you’re reading this and feeling stuck in a situationship, pause and ask yourself: Am I being emotionally fed or emotionally drained? If it’s the latter, you deserve more than “almost.”
Why Situationships Are Trending in Desi Circles — Especially in NYC
Among Desis in NYC, a few patterns stand out:
App fatigue - endless scrolling and ghosting leave people numb.
Cultural limbo - Desis juggle between “traditional seriousness” and “Western chill.”
Micro-ships - ultra-short, emotionally charged connections that fade fast.
Validation fatigue - constantly proving you’re not “too Desi” or “too modern.”
In India, the story’s different - family pressure, fear of judgment, and unspoken love stories still dominate. But the heartache? Universal.
Finding Clarity and Healing
The first step isn’t blaming yourself - it’s understanding that ambiguity can be addictive. It keeps you hopeful, but never peaceful. Healing starts with clarity - and clarity often begins in conversation.
At SEVEE, we create safe spaces for Desis across the world to unpack emotional grey zones like this. Whether you’re navigating heartbreak in Mumbai or mixed signals in Manhattan - you’re not alone.
Write Your Own Story — With SEVEE
You don’t have to keep settling for “almost.” Let’s help you write a story that’s whole. Book a session with Parita Sharma or a SEVEE therapist — and let’s talk about where you are, what you feel, and where you want to go next.
Book a session today with an associate or an expert.
Together, we’ll untangle the knot and help you step into the kind of love and clarity you truly deserve.
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